2015 Grip N Grin Guide
We realized something:
You go to all the trouble of surfing fly fishing websites, attempting to find the best information on rivers, flies, gear, terminal tackle, and how-to’s…but no site really presents you with the most important information…
Insert Duranglers.
We are here with the most vital fly fishing (and life) lesson you could ever learn: how to look awesome. While we can’t advise you with how to look awesome in all areas of life, we can advise you in a few. Actually we can only advise you in like one or two, and they involve fly fishing. Since they only way you can look awesome anymore is by having totally fresh Instagram and Facebook feeds; it all comes down to having awesome photos.
Now don’t skimp on the photos here fisherpeople; to the outside world, these photos you throw up on Instagram/Twitter/Facebook are going to be the beginning and end of who you are. These photos will define you to the outside world. You will never rise above your social media. Ever. Make it count.
Since you are are wanting to be recognized as the epic fly fisher you know you are; it’s all about the Grip N Grin photo. Skip that photo of your breakfast. Don’t post that stupid sunset shot of the river because you got skunked. Forget bug photos. You might care, but the rest of the world doesn’t.
You want to be cool and not lame right? You want to get sponsored by that fly fishing t-shirt company that started 3 minutes ago with one design but has like 4k followers right? You want people to like you and recognize you fishing prowess right? Post grip n grin photos. And that is it.
Oh and make sure to throw in some cool captions to help people realize how far up on the totem pole of fly fishing skillz you reside. Make up your own slang. Say things like “Butter” (for yellow bellied brown trout), or “Smalljaw” (for Smallmouth Bass), or “Doing Work” (for when you are not actually doing work of any kind whatsoever and are just fishing). It will help you fit in with other like-minded Instagrammers fly fishing pros.
Make sure you have the freshest gear to show off in the photos and use siqqq filters. Actually only use an HDR filter. Don’t use any others because they are dumb.
Now some may scoff at the absurdity of all this. To them I say; “You think that you’re too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite… you aren’t.” Get on the hip bus bruh.
Without further ado, we present you with our 2015 Grip N Grin guide. 7 ideas for you to boost your follower count and change the world. Just add fish (dorsal fin snagged fish count if you remove the hook before photo, but that’s our little secret). For us…well we de-hook all our hooks so we don’t ever actually catch anything, so we had to use our trusty model, the Patagoina 19″ Fitz Roy Trout Sticker. For us it’s all about the take anyway…
The Deathgrip
The Deathgrip is an entry level Grip N Grin. It is a great option for you if you want to get a lot of comments. They may be negative comments, but at least you will get people talking right! Don’t let that fish go!
#Fishflopfriday
Silly you! You should have applied more Deathgrip! Now that fish is flopping all over the place. Good thing you captured that flop on film (what’s film anyway?). Now you can join in on the zany fun happening every Friday on your local Instagram feed. Just make sure you don’t post a #fishflopfriday on any day but Friday, or you will lose friends faster than you can drop a fish.
The Dreamer Streamer
Hold that fish like a guitar or grenade launcher, and admire the living crap out of it. Best used with brightly colored spawners…
The Double Down
The quickest way to look like a boss fly angler on social media is to catch giant fish all the time, every time. The problem is, no one catches giant fish every time. The solution: stiff arm that fish into the back of the camera lens to instantly double it’s size! A 10″ fish will look 20″! A 20″ fish will look 40″…you see where I am going with this right?
Yep, a 40″ fish will look 80″.
Keep notes young learners, and one day you too can catch 16″ fish like me by Doublin Down.
#Throwbackthursday
Every Thursday, for some reason, the world of social media gets a little nostalgic and everyone posts photos of a favored memory. The best part: Throwback can mean anything from 100 years ago to 10 minutes ago! Yay! Our favorite use of the #throwbackthursday hashtag is to hold our fish by the gills and use old timey filters. So retro! Best if used with a split cane bamboo rod and click and pawl reel…and flannel…and beards…and coffee in tin cups. Make sure to use hashtags like #wanderlust too. Use light leaks if possible.
The Instaninja
Truth be told…we are not exactly sure what this one is all about…but it sure looks damn cool right!? The Instaninja is a complex maneuver: the trick is to make it look like you are a famous person being photographed by the paparazzi. You are going to want to be wearing sunglasses and preferably you will be hiding your eyes behind the brim of your hat. Hopefully you are hiding the rest of your face behind a Buff. Don’t look at the camera, ever. Remember the paparazzi; you want to make it look like you don’t want to have your picture taken. If possible, hide your face behind the fish by applying the Double Down (from above). Apply copious amounts of HDR when editing.
The secret behind this Grip N Grin is that you are making it look like you don’t want recognition for your fish…even though you are going to post this photo on every social media outlet you can. The reverse psychology with this move is insane, hence “Instaninja”. Use with caution, with great power comes great responsibility. You may even get asked to guide a friend of a friend when they get into town next week.
#keepemwet (aka The Conservationist)
Previously known as “The Conversationalist” this pose has become known by it’s Instagram hashtag “#keepemwet”. Turn up a little #keepemwet vibes and people will be flocking to your conservation message. I mean, look how happy Kyle is in this photo. His rests comfortably in the reality that he hooked and landed this brightly colored Fitz Roy Trout quickly (with landing net of course), and is safely reviving him in slower water. Whilst never removing the gills of the fish from the water I might ad! #keepemwet bros
(Another warning here; turn those #keepemwet vibes up to #keepemwetshaming vibes and you will probably loose friends. Everyone loves the happy conservationist, but the “#keepemwet” guy has been known to start the flaming war on “The Deathgrip” guy.)
Doin our part, thaaaaannks!
And there you have it, apply these 7 techniques and you will be well on your way to Instafame!!
***As you have probably figured out by now, this is a total work of humor. If you took offense to any of this…well you probably need to lighten up a little. If you learned something, well that’s cool too. When it gets down to it, we support catch and release, safe fish handling methods, and even #keepemwet when you can.
Get out there and enjoy the river. Take photos of fish, sunsets, bugs, and whatever else you want. Enjoy fly fishing and the outdoors with your friends. Have fun!
Check out our Facebook and Instagram feeds and feel free to judge our Grip N Grins all you want. We have been known to use a little of these methods to up our cool factors too. We would love it if you would tag us in your photos so we can see all your happy smiling faces with fish of any size! Tag #duranglers ***
